Writer's Block

I should be writing fiction. Or even nonfiction. But I don't really feel like it.

I've seen lots of professional and nonprofessional writers say that it doesn't matter whether you "feel like" writing, that to wait for a muse to inspire you or a mood to overtake you is lazy and self-indulgent and dooms you to failure.

I use to be a technical writer, and in that case, I would say it's totally true. It didn't matter whether I "felt like" writing that assembly instruction document. I just sat my ass down in my $600 Aeron chair and banged that fucker out and collected my paycheck at the end of every two weeks.

I could even blog every day. I think I may try that in December to just prove that it's true.

But the fact is that writing something that I deeply care about is different, at least for me. I forced myself to write two more porn stories after the first one because I originally envisioned a little quartet and I had even made the cover art for them. But I didn't enjoy writing them. I was bored with them and exasperated with trying to find synonyms and figures of speech to repeat the same physical acts. It was only a tiny piece of off-the-cuff theology I invented that amused me, and you can see it in the product. The first story is the only one worth anything, the only one that works as porn OR as narrative.

So I have to somehow find my way through this writer's block in order to write something decent again. Something worthwhile. Something I can love, so that someone else might enjoy it too.